americanwizarding:

Silas Jiminez Reyes and the Art of Apparition:

For one week only in the Sixth Borough’s infamous Le Grande on Lean Street comes Silas Jiminez Reyes, master of the Art of Apparition. A savant of space and time and a graduate of the Prestigious Academia Occidental, Mr. Jiminez promises an evening of sights and spectacles fit to entrance even the most jaded of magical pallets. One-part education in the applied arts of aeronautics and spatial warping and one-part nerve-wrecking performance, Mr. Jiminez’s show is not for all ages and parents are warned that there is subtle nudity, extensive controlled-splinching, and the occasional temporal paradox which may, under certain conditions, cause one to become immediately aware of every point in their own lives during which their brief, bright existence might have been prematurely snuffed out if not for the intervention of forces beyond our comprehension or control. Mages with an allergy to peanuts or a sensitivity to precognition are encouraged not to attend.

Actually, according to representatives of the Department of Magical Research and Development and agents of the Auror’s Board, everyone is encouraged not to attend, though no warrant for arrest has yet to be issued for Mr. Jiminez who is technically in violation of at least seven laws against paradox shifting and public decency.  

¬¬Tiffany Tabard, The Boston Bibliomancer

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